Hobbying in a season of change
How I'm internalizing life and death (and where my hobbies fit into it)
Today’s post on Hobbyisms will be the densest topic I have covered thus far. I typically like share insights that can help others find, start, and sustain hobbies, along with the projects I am presently working on. But I would like to get a little more personal here and write about large shifts that are happening in my life and tie it back into my hobbies. I will now proceed to do that.
Between 2024 and 2026, I have undergone what I consider to be my first major cycle of life changes. This includes becoming an aunt of two, getting married, and two grandparents (one soon to be) passing within two months apart. New family members coming into my life, and family members who I knew since the beginning of my life exiting life themselves. New chapter opening, others closing. Seeing the circle of life come full circle.
I have had a challenging time finding the words to describe what my internal experience amid all of this has been. It was even challenging to write that sentence (and this one too) because I’m still trying to figure out how to translate the most subtle thoughts, feelings, and undertones into words that depict what this experience has truly been like. It has seemed like every word carries weight, at least as the one writing and living this story.
There are a few phrases I have settled on over the last couple weeks that describe how I have internalized all of this. “Season of change”. Evidently, part of this post title. This phrase summarizes what this life cycle is in a nutshell. “Riding the wave”. In reference to how I’m doing mostly. There have been highs and lows, times where I have had significant creative inspiration and times where it really hits me that I’ll never see my grandparents again. I’m just allowing myself to experience all of it and ride it out. “It’s part of life”. How I’m internalizing death and grief. I think acknowledging the natural cycles of life can help us internalize these hard realities in time. Grief is still present, but the process moves along rather than becoming stuck or stagnant. And I would want to grieve anyways, in the sense that I cared for my loved ones to the degree of feeling those kinds of emotions with their passing.
I think the passing of all but one grandparent has had a sense of weight for me because of just how many impressions they left on my life. Both sets of my grandparents had quirky personalities, rich heritage and values, beautifully decorated homes that were the backdrop of many of my early childhood memories, and gave my sister and I experiences that were formative to who we are as people today. I have reflected on many of these memories lately, and I feel so fortunate that I was able to experience everything I did with my grandparents. It’s just surreal that this chapter of my life has essentially come to a close. It’s also surreal to think about how there are people who aren’t yet even in my life who I will know longer than I did my grandparents (specifically, my future children). A natural law of life, yet one that makes me emotional every time I consider it.
Going back to the impressions both sides of grandparents left on my life, though. It is the little details I remember seeing growing up that carry forward into my own personal interests and even some of my hobbies today. I always felt at home at my grandparents’ homes, which included quilts and woven blankets, cross stitch art, and other historical relics. Both sides of grandparents farmed and/or kept their own gardens and cooked dishes native to where they grew up. And the historical events I attended with my grandparents created imprints that still serve as inspiration to this day. Of course, there are interests and inspirations that I stumbled upon my own as well, but I would say that many do derive from those smaller details that I remember growing up.
It’s been interesting to observe how my hobbies have interfaced with my life during this time. When matters were more intense in late January, I took a break from my hobbies when visiting my grandpa for a few days before saying my final goodbye. I became active with my hobbies again after returning home, using knitting in particular as an activity to redirect my mind toward. And out seemingly nowhere, I also experienced a creative surge with my music, which gave me another aspect to find joy in during this difficult time. I have since taken time to tune back into my inner world and write about the underlying factors making me emotional. I think it’s important to feel it out and “ride the wave” as I stated earlier, but I do find comfort in taking inventory of my thoughts to further process what it is that I am experiencing.
These major life changes have definitely made me think deeper into what life is and what the purpose of it is. This evidently becomes a philosophical matter that differs from person to person, and it never hurts to mull over that for a bit to ensure the actions you’re taking today align with what you believe at the highest level. Make your life one that you have zero regret about when looking back on it.
Seasons of change are part of life as are the four seasons of the year. There is so much to appreciate within all these times and changes.